The past five years have been a wonderful, incredible time of growth for me. The Lord spoke to me one day after I had gone through a difficult time and said "I am going to teach you to rest."
I had no idea then what I was in for, but it has been amazing.
I spent about a year and a half just being deprogrammed from all of the "religious" thinking I had picked up along the way. Thinking that hindered me from seeing the work on the cross as truly finished. I said the words "the work is finished" but I only believed that it was true if I was was smart enough to figure out how to get God to make it work in my life. I thought I had to jump through hoops, and pray exactly the right words or all the finished work was void for me.
This living was exhausting me. I spend everyday trying so hard to do enough. I had my hand in every pot I could find because I wanted to show God that I was good enough to be used by Him. I spent everyday feeling really good about myself because I felt like I got it all right that day, or really bad about myself because I had some how messed up. This living is NOT living in rest. It is NOT living in the finished work on the cross. It is NOT living with any understanding of Grace.
I used to think that grace was a type of "Tylenol" if you will. It got me through a hard time, maybe not victoriously, but it got me through. Grace is power, it is God's power at work in our lives because of the finished work on the cross. It is the power and favor that enables us to live in rest.
God has changed my mind-set SO much. I am not the person I was five years ago. Five years ago I was free and did not know it, now I am walking in that freedom.
My journey is not without challenges, but my trust in the Lord, my trust in His love for me, my trust in the finished work, makes all the difference in how I go through those challenges. I now know that it is not about me being able to figure out what I need to do to get God to move on my behalf. I now know that the only "doing" He asks of me is to trust, believe, rely on and cling to Him. There will be things that I do, but they will come through the Spirit working in my life, they will be an overflow of what God has done in me.
This is resting, this is living in the power of the finished work on the cross. This is living in His grace.
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