Friday, June 26, 2009

A Safe Place

Since my post yesterday, I have been talking with the Lord about this "Love parenting through grace" thing. I am still looking forward to reading "Loving our kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk, (which should arrive tomorrow) but I am excited about what I feel God teaching me even before I crack the cover or turn the first page. It really is the Holy Spirit that teaches us, what ever the source of the information.

So, I just wanted to share what I feel God speaking to my heart with all of my "Grace Talk" friends.

We are told that when we mess up, when we make a mistake, whenever we find ourselves involved in sin, that God is a safe place to turn. No matter what you have done He is waiting. There is no sin to big for God to forgive.

Shouldn't we too be a safe place to turn for our children? I remember as a kid my parents would say that I could be honest, tell them anything. However, it was their reaction when I did tell the truth that kept me from doing that. It did not feel safe, I was Scared! I remember feeling defined by my bad behavior, I had disappointed them. Not my behavior but I. Eventually I learned to only tell half of the truth, the parts that I didn't think were so bad, this way I was doing what they asked and protecting myself from their reaction at the same time.

I want my children to really, truly be able to tell me anything. I want to be the first, not the last person they run to. I think that having this type of relationship with them will far better model the Fathers love for them, and give me the opportunity to turn them to a God who loves them.

I am not saying that children will never receive consequences to their actions, please do not hear me say that. God does discipline us, but His way is loving, never harsh, hard, sharp or pressing. So the revelation, that is in my heart is; God has been, and still is changing me, so that I respond to my children the way my Father responds to me. If He is a safe place to run, then shouldn't I be that very thing as well?

Only God, through the power of the Holy Spirit, can do this work in our hearts. I am so very thankful that He does. I am thankful that He will continue to work in me, drawing me closer to Him. Making me more like Him. Helping me love and discipline, like Him. After all, I am made in His image, and this is the image I want my children to see. This is the experience I want them to have in their relationship with me. Of course, I will not get it all right, and I am certain I will have to apologize to them when I mess up. But, I hope in building this relationship with them that they too will learn to look beyond behavior and into the heart of a person. I hope that they will see me as a "safe place" to run.

Let's Talk Grace! What about you, do you have anything to share, about what God has taught you when it comes to being a safe place for your children? Any other thoughts? Questions?

I would like to see Grace Talk become a safe place for us to have discussions. Please leave a comment, and then check back, I will try to reply to your comments. If you have a comment for another commenter, please leave that as well. I believe one of the ways we learn and grow is through our discussions and encouragement with one another. Lets Talk Grace!


Lisa said...

I'm so grateful to God for you and all that you do!

Love ya bunches,

Daveda said...

Thanks Lisa, I am thankful for you as well! I truly believe we met on here a divine appointment.

Love ya!

Angela said...

I ordered that book too after hearing Wayne Jacobsen talk about it. It's really amazing! One of the things I discovered was that it also shed light on how I have related to God as Father and the way He parents me. So it's quite a powerful book and has made a big impact on me.

I've noticed with my son that when I treat him with respect, he responds positively. From time to time, I'll pull him aside (especially after he's been acting out) and tell him some things I respect about him. His whole demeanor changes. He just melts. It's grace in action because it's usually after he's been behaving badly.

But that's when we need grace the most. And for my son, the best way I can show him unconditional love is to give him unconditional respect. I feel like I'm just beginning to learn this and living it out is another matter. But thankfully, we can trust the Lord to live these things out in us day by day.

Daveda said...

Angela, absolutely! I too have been learning this. I look back at the way I used to parent, especially with my 18yr old and I realize how short I have fallen. But, I always Jokingly say "Its a good thing that what I mess up in my kids God can fix later!" I say it jokingly but I believe its truth as well.

Respect is what every human wants, yes, even our children. I too have found that the more they realize I respect them they respect me as well.

I just received the book and will begin reading soon. I am looking forward to what God may speak to me through the pages.

So glad you stopped by! It's nice "meeting" you!

Angela said...

"Its a good thing that what I mess up in my kids God can fix later!" amen amen amen sis...God has given me that statement also,,and I have prayed also..Lord take the messes I've made in my children's lives, and make it Your message of power and glory revealed.