I have discovered and learned a lot of new lessons over the last few weeks. I love that every day, every situation, is an opportunity for Father to teach us new lessons, each one drawing us closer to the heart of Himself.
Sometimes we learn lessons from watching and listening to others. We feel, see, and hear how what they do affects us and we quickly realize this is something I never want to make someone else feel, see or hear.
I had a few of these happen to me during the time of my grandmas showing and funeral. As I think back to them I have to laugh a little, as I wonder "what were these people thinking?" So, I thought I would share with you three wonderful things that you should never say to someone when they have just lost a loved one...yes, that was a hint of sarcasm you detected...
1. Now this one I realize is probably pretty common, people mean well, and in these types of sad circumstance many simply do not know what to say. But, telling someone that "It's okay, she is in a better place." does not make them feel better. When Jesus said "weep with those who weep" I think that's what He really meant . The people who helped me the most did not try to minimize my grief, but cried with me and understood that even though I KNOW she is in a better place, I will still miss her, my tears were for me.
2. I had one person tell me that of all the people they could think of I had the most faith, so come on now...you can do this! Ummmm...okay?!?! Sure, but this still bites, it has nothing to do with faith. Having faith gives you hope, but it does not make your heart stop hurting.
3. This is classic..my favorite; at my grandmas showing a man (a rude man) walked up to me, hugged me and said "Hi Daveda, wow, you look like you have put on a little weight?" Mind you there were six people sitting around listening...things got very quiet all of a sudden. I was stunned as I responded with "Oh, wow, that's really nice of you, thanks..." (yes, another hint of sarcasm) It's my grandmas funeral, and that's the nicest thing he could think of to say to me...Oh my!
I guess if nothing else, these are three things I will never say to someone. As I look back, I can now laugh about these comments. Laugh and learn, what else can you do...
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